Album: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Soundtrack

The Reckoning

LAWRENCE
How could you do that to her?

FREDDY
Do what to her?

We're in her room,
The lights are low.
I've got it made,
All systems go.

I'm in. She's down-
The hair; the gown-
We go to kiss;
She conks me out.

Then I wake up
With nothing on.
She took my clothes.
My shoes are gone.

My wallet's gone.
My watch is gone.
And here I am a shmuch in a robe.

LAWRENCE
And you expect me to believe that
when she just returned the fifty
thousand dollars I gave to her?

FREDDY
What fifty thousand dollars?

LAWRENCE
The fifty thousand dollars that you
stole from her!

FREDDY
I didn't steal and fifty thousand dollars
from her!

(They look at each other
and run to the briefcase)

Hey, there's my clothes.

(They find a note inside and read:)

CHRISTINE'S VOICE
'Goodbye boys. It was fun.
Love, The Jackal!

FREDDY
The more I cired,
The more she cared.
The more I liked,
The more she bared.
The more I sang,
The more she sung.
I mean, come on,
She gave me tongue!

ANDRE
Amazing
Zis idot.
I hate to say i told you so-

LAWRENCE
Amazing.
The Timing,
She really had me down-

ANDRE
So young, so good,
So right, so nice.
She played you like a pair of dice

LAWRENCE
The eyes, the smile,
The joy, the hope,
The hair, the clothes

ANDRE
Ze soap!

ALL
The soap!

LAWRENCE
The soap!

FREDDY
That lousy, stinking, lying, cheating,
totally dishonest, dirty, rotten-

LAWRENCE
Yes Freddy, isn't she wonderful!