Album: Cosmic Wheels

Intergalactic Laxative

I was impressed like everyone
When man began to fly
Out of earthly regions
To planets in the sky
With total media coverage,
We watched the heroes land
As ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand.

In awe with admiration, we listened to the talk
Such pride felt they, such joy, to be upon the Moon to walk
My romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me
Spacemen wear old diapers, in which they shit and pee.

[Chorus]
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
Relieve you and, believe me, without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars,
The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.

They don't partake like you and I of beefy burger mush
Their food is specially prepared to dissolve into slush
Absorbed by multi-fibers in the super diaper suit
Otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot.

You may well ask, now what becomes of liquid they consume?
A pipe is led from penis head to unit in the room
The water is recirculated, filtered for re-use
In case of anti-gravity, pee gets on the loose.

[repeat chorus]

Wherever man has conquered, on the quests for frontiers new,
I'm glad he's always had to do the numbers One and Two.
It makes it all so ordinary, just like you and me,
To know the greatest heroes, they had to shit and pee.

Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
For cosmic constipation, there's none that can compare
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars,
The intergalactic laxative
The intergalactic laxative
The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.