Album: RCA Country Legends - Jerry Reed

She Got The Goldmine

Well, I guess it was back in sixty-three
When eating my cooking got the better of me
So asked this little girl I was going with to be my wife

Well, she said she would, So, I said "I do",
But I'd of said I wouldn't If I'd of just knew
How sayin' "I do" would screw up all of my life.

Well, the first few years weren't all that bad.
I'll never forget the good times we had,
'Cause I'm reminded each month when I send her the child support.

Well, it wasn't too long 'till the lust all died.
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch.

Well, I tried to get in, she changed the locks.
Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said
"Goodbye, Turkey! My attorney will be in touch."

So, I decided right then and there
I was gonna do what's right, give her her fair share.
But, brother, I didn't know her share was gonna be that much!

[chorus 1]
She got the gold mine, I got the shaft.
They split it right down the middle, and then they give her the better half.
Well, it all sounds sort of funny, but it hurts too much to laugh.
She got the gold mine, I got the shaft.

Now, listen, you aint't heard nothin' yet.
Why, They gave her the color television set
Then they give her the house, the kids and both of the cars.

See, then they start talking about child support,
Alimony, and the cost of the court
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was.

I'm telling you they have made a mistake,
'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes.
Besides, everything I ever had worth taking they've already took.

While she's living like a Queen on alimony,
I'm working two shifts, eatin' balogna
Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?"

[chorus 2]
They gave her the gold mine, They give me the shaft.
They say they're splittin' it all down the middle, but she got the better half.
Well, it all sounds mighty funny, but it hurts too much to laugh.
She got the gold mine, I got the shaft.

[gtr solo]
{repeat chorus 1]

## spoken in the fade out ##
You ain't kiddin', I got the shaft!
Well, I don't have to worry about toting a billfold no more
ha-ha-ha-ha
I'll let my wife tote it, I'm gonna be totin' food stamps, get it, Judge?
I'm gonna be... ju- Haa-ha-haaaa ...that's not funny, huh? wha- huh?
Contempt of court? I didn't mean it!