Album: Old Testaments & New Revelations

They Ain't Makin' Jews LiKe Jesus Anymore

(Kinky Friedman)
Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin¡¯ Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
¡°They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God¡¯s only son.¡±
I said, ¡°Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that¡¯s not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ.¡±
¡°You know, you don¡¯t look Jewish,¡± he said, ¡°near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.¡°
No, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore,
They don¡¯t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin¡¯ and a-spittin¡¯ on the floor,
¡°Lord, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore.¡±
He says, ¡°I ain¡¯t a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don¡¯t need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops ¡®n micks ¡®n slopes ¡®n spics ¡®n spooks are on my list
And there¡¯s one little hebe from the heart of Texas ¡ª is there anyone I missed ? ¡±
Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, ¡°I¡¯m gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin¡¯ that pack of lies.
If there¡¯s one thing I can¡¯t abide, it¡¯s an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said ¡®bout Aristitle Onassis.¡±
No, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don¡¯t turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
¡°Lord, they sho¡¯ ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore!¡±
All right!
No, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don¡¯t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore.
Everybody!
They ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ain¡¯t makin¡¯ carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin¡¯ as I strolled right out the door
¡°Lord, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore!¡±
No, we ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don¡¯t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin¡¯ as I strolled right out the door
¡°Lord, they ain¡¯t makin¡¯ Jews like Jesus anymore!¡±