Album: other songs

Bruce's Philosophers Song

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato they say could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram

And René Descartes was a drunken fart
'I drink therefore I am'

Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed