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Home >> Sunset Boulevard soundtrack >> The House On Sunset & Artie's Apartment
Album: Sunset Boulevard

The House On Sunset & Artie's Apartment

JOE paces uneasily in his white tie and tails, as a Palm Court QUARTET begins playing tango music.

Lights up on the LITTLE ORCHESTRA, tucked in under the stairs; the streamers, the trees in tubs, the floral arrangements, the dozens of blazing candles. MAX is busying himself, preparing the drinks tray.

JOE

Max

You've pulled the stops out.

It looks like gala night aboard S.S. Titanic.

Will we

play spot the actor?

As if we're visiting a gallery of waxworks?

MAX

Would you rather

I mix for you a dry martini

or shall I open a champagne?

JOE

Max, don't be evasive

who's she invited to the ball?

MAX

Madame herself made every call.

(Suddenly, NORMA appears at the top of the stairs in a dazzling diamente evening gown with long black gloves and bird of paradise feathers in her hair. SHE begins a stately descent. JOE puts his glass down and applauds. MAX watches discreetly, evidently moved; HE opens a bottle of champagne.

JOE waits to meet her at the bottom of the stairs. HE's reaching out to take her arm, when as if from nowhere, SHE suddenly produces a gold cigarette case and hands it to him.)

NORMA

Here. Happy New Year.

JOE

Norma, I can't take this.

NORMA

Oh, shut up. Open it. Read what it says.

(JOE opens it and reads out, half-amused and half-appalled.)

JOE

"Mad about the boy"

NORMA

Yes, and you do look absolutely divine.

(JOE is touched, despite his embarrassment; HE decides to give in gracefully and slips the cigarette case into his pocket.)

JOE

Well, thank you.

(NORMA stretches out a hand to lead JOE onto the freshly-waxed tiles dance-floor.)

NORMA

I had these tiles put in, you know, because Rudy Valentino said to me, it takes tiles to tango. Come on.

JOE

No, no, not on the same floor as Valentino!

NORMA

Oh come on, come on, come on. Get up. Follow me. And one, two.... and one, two, one, two together. And one.

(THEY begin to dance. After a while, NORMA snaps at JOE.)

Don't lean back like that.

JOE

Norma, it's that thing. It tickles.

(NORMA pulls the feathers out of her hair and casts them aside. THEY resume dancing, closer this time.)

NORMA

Ring out the old

Ring in the new

A midnight wish

to share with you

Your lips are warm

my head is light;

were we alive

before tonight?

I don't need a crowded ballroom

everything I want is here

If you're with me

next year will be

the perfect year

(JOE is beginning to be aware what's happening; still, at the same time, HE's caught up in the intoxication of the movement.)

JOE

Before we play

some dangerous game;

before we fan

some harmless flame,

we have to ask

if this is wise

and if the game

is worth the prize.

With this wine and with this music,

how can anything be clear?

Let's wait and see

it may just be

the perfect year.

(THEY dance.)

NORMA

It's New Year's Eve

and hope are high,

Dance one year in,

kiss one good-bye.

Another chance,

another start,

so many dreams

to tease the heart.

We don't need a crowded ballroom

everything we want is here

and face to face

we will embrace

the perfect year.

We don't need a crowded ballroom

everything we want is here

and face to face

we will embrace

the perfect year.

(SHE kisses him lightly as the number comes to an end. Then, as the orchestra strikes up the next piece, THEY move off the floor to take up the glasses of champagne which MAX has poured for them. They clink glasses and drink.)

JOE

So, what time are they supposed to get here?

NORMA

Who?

JOE

The other guests.

NORMA

There are no other guests. Just you and me.

(SHE leans in to kiss him again, this time more seriously. MAX half turns away, averting his eyes.)

I'm in love with you. Surely you know that.

(JOE is terribly startled by this.)

JOE

Norma....

NORMA

We'll have a wonderful time next year. I'll have the pool filled up for you. I'll open up my house in Malibu, and you can have the whole ocean. I have enough money to buy us anything we want.

JOE

Cut out that "us" business.

NORMA

What's the matter with you?

JOE

What right do you have to take me for granted?

NORMA

What right? Do you want me to tell you?

(JOE is out of his depth now; all he can do is bluster.)

JOE

Norma, what I'm trying to say is that I'm the wrong guy for you; you need a big shot, someone with polo ponies, a Valentino...

NORMA

What you're trying to say is, you don't want me to love you. Say it! Say it!

(JOE doesn't answer; he looks away, avoiding her eye. Thus, it takes him a completely by surprise when SHE slaps his face. And, before HE can react, SHE's turned and run all the way up the stairs to vanish into her bedroom. JOE finds himself standing face to face with MAX.)

JOE

Max. Get me a taxi.

(As MAX moves towards the phone, the house moves back a way to reveal ARTIE's apartment, a modest one-room affair, packed to the rafters with carefree young people, many of whom we have already encountered at the studio and at Schwab's. Several of the GUESTS cluster around the piano and there's a BOY with a saxophone. Others help themselves to some dangerous looking alcoholic concoction from a punchbowl. The house at Sunset remains visible throughout.

As the new scene establishes itself, JOE encases himself in his vicuna coat.)

I had to get out

I needed

to be with people my own age

to hear the sound of laughter

and mix with hungry actors,

underemployed composers,

nicotine-poisoned writers,

real people,

real problems,

having a really good time.

(JOE hesitates in the doorway of the apartment, suddenly embarrassed by how overdressed HE is. Meanwhile, ARTIE hails him and pushes through the crowd to greet him.)

ARTIE

Hey, Gillis! We'd given you up.

(BETTY, by the piano, hears this and looks around, delighted to see JOE. By now, ARTIE has reached him.)

Let me take your coat.

(HE touches the coat and reacts, surprised.)

Jesus, Joe, what's this made of? Mink?

(HE's even more surprised when the coat comes off to reveal JOE's tails.)

Who did you borrow this from? Adolphe Menjou?

JOE

Close, but no cigar.

(HE gestures around the room.)

Hey! It's quite a crowd.

ARTIE

I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in "Samson and Delilah."

BETTY

Where have you been hiding? I called your apartment. I called your ex-agent. I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons.

JOE

Well, they always know where to find me.

(Before SHE can develop this, the BOYS and GIRLS around the piano launch into their song.)

RICHARD A

Hey, Sammy!

You gotta say your new year's

resolution out loud.

Jean!

JEAN

By this time next year

I'll have landed a juicy part

STEVE

Nineteen fifty will be my start

RICHARD T

No more carrying spears

MARY

I'll be discovered

my life won't ever be the same

Billy Wilder will know my name

and he'll call all the time

KATHERINE

'Til he does, can one of you guys

lend her a dime?

ALISA

Just an apartment

with no roaches and no dry rot

ANITA

Where the hot water comes out hot

BOTH

That's my Hollywood dream

RICHARD A.

Your resolution

JOANNA

Is to write something that get shot

with approximately the plot

I first had in my head

MYRON

But you'll get rewritten

even after you're dead.

RICHARD A.

Artie!

ARTIE

It's a year to begin a new life

Buy a place somewhere quiet,

somewhere pretty.

When you have a young kid and a wife

then you need somewhere green far from the city

It's rambling old house with a big apple tree

With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me.

(The mood is broken as a number of GIRLS, dressed as the harem from 'Samson and Delilah' burst squealing out of the kitchen followed by SAMMY, wearing jodhpurs and knee-length riding boots and carrying a megaphone. HE adjusts his spectacles and assumes the grave, patriarchal air of CECIL B. DE MILLE.)

SAMMY

Behold, my children,

it is I, Cecil B. De Mille,

Meeting me must be quite a thrill,

ADAM

But there's no need to kneel.

SAMMY

I guarantee you

every girl in my chorus line

is a genuine Philistine

SANDY

They don't come off the shelf

SAMMY

I flew everyone in from Philistia myself.

(The GIRLS dance a kind of parody Middle Eastern bump and grind.)

(Meanwhile, in the house, NORMA emerges from her room and descends the stairs, walking carefully as if holding herself together. MAX intercepts her with a glass of champagne. SHE lights a cigarette, inserts it in her holder-contraption and begins pacing up and down, listening to the orchestra with half an ear.

Back at ARTIE's apartment, BETTY is looking around for JOE, who has moved off on his own and is now sitting, pensive, in the bathroom. Eventually, SHE finds him and advances determinedly towards him.)

BETTY

I have some good news

It's "Blind Windows."

JOE

You don't let go.

BETTY

I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe,

and he swallowed the bait.

JOE

Well, Hallelujah!

BETTY

While you've been buying vicuna coats

I've been making a lot of notes

Now there's work we should do...

JOE

Betty, you're forgetting that I gave it to you.

You remind me of me long ago

off the bus, full of ignorant ambition

Thought I'd waltz into some studio

and achieve overnight recognition.

I've seen too many optimists sinking like stones

Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones.

(At the house, NORMA drifts back upstairs with her glass of champagne. MAX watches her leave, very concerned.)

BETTY

I love "Blind Windows"

but I can't write it on my own.

Can't we speak on the telephone?

All my evening are free.

ARTIE

Hey, just a minute

I'm the fellow who bought the ring.

BETTY

Artie, this is a business thing

It's important to me.

You'll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee.

(SHE turns to JOE, talking with a real intensity.)

Please make this your New Year's resolution for me.

(The CHORUS starts up again.)

ALL

By this time next year

I will get my foot in the door

Next year I know I'm going to score

an amazing success.

Cut to the moment

when they open the envelope

Pass the statuette to Bob Hope

and it's my name you hear.

We'll be down on our knees

outside Grauman's Chinese

Palm prints there on the street

Immortality's neat!

This time next year

this time next year

We'll have nothing to fear

contracts all signed

Three-picture deal

yellow brick road career.

Hope we're not still saying these things

this time next year.

(Back in the house, MAX is seized by a sudden fear. Moving with surprising speed, HE suddenly bounds up the stairs and disappears into NORMA's bedroom.)

JOE

You know, I think I will be available in the New Year.

In fact, I'm available right now.

BETTY

Joe, that's great!

(He turns to ARTIE)

JOE

Hey, Artie, where's your phone?

ARTIE

Under the bar.

JOE

Hey, Artie. You think you could put me up for a couple of weeks?

ARTIE

It's just so happens we've got a vacancy on the couch.

JOE

I'll take it.

(HE pushes across to the phone, picks it up and dials. HE has to put a finger in his ear, because some new piece of nonsense has started up in the room.

MAX comes down the stairs and hurriedly dismisses the orchestra. HE looks unprecedentely ramshackled and dishevelled. HE starts back up the stairs.

The phone rings in the house. MAX picks up the receiver.)

MAX

Yes?

JOE

Max, it's Mr. Gillis. I want you to do me a favor.

MAX

I'm sorry Mr. Gillis. I can't talk right now.

JOE

Listen, I want you to take my old suitcases...

MAX

I'm sorry, I'm attending to Madame.

JOE

What do you mean?

MAX

Madame found a razor in your room. And she's cut her wrists.

ALL

Three, two, one, Happy New Year!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

and never brought to mind

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

and days of auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear

for auld lang syne

We'll take a cup of kindness yet

for the sake of auld lang syne.

(Repeat, fading to scene change.)

(BETTY, meanwhile, has been making her way over to speak to him. SHE arrives by his side and is immediately aware something is wrong.)

(JOE stares at her as if HE's never seen her before in his life. Then, abruptly, HE hangs up and, to BETTY's total astonishment, HE pushes across the room, disrupting the cabaret, grabs his coat from the book-shelf where ARTIE has carefully stowed it, and slams out of the apartment.)

(ARTIE's apartment dissolves; now it's the house again. Presently MAX appears, supporting NORMA. Her wrists are heavily bandaged; SHE looks much older, frail and shaky. With infinite tenderness, MAX shepherds NORMA to the old sofa near the piano, out of site of the orchestra. He's made the necessary preparations beforehand and now HE drops to his knees and begins to bathe her forehead and temples with a flannel dipped in ice water.

Suddenly, JOE bursts through the front door, panting and extremely agitated. MAX rises; NORMA half sits up, glaring at JOE.)

NORMA

Go away.

JOE

What kind of silly thing was that to do?

NORMA

I'll do it again! I'll do it again! I'll do it again!

JOE

Attractive headline: "Great Star Kills Herself for Unknown Writer."

NORMA

Great stars have great pride.

(SHE turns away from him. MAX, still anxious, is moving back, melting into the background.)

You must have some girl; Why don't you go to her?

(Now JOE kneels beside NORMA and speaks to her with great gentleness.)

JOE

I never meant to hurt you, Norma, You've been good to me. You're the only person in this stinking town that's ever been good to me.

NORMA

Then why don't you say thank you and go? Go, go! Go!

(JOE goes to the stairs as if to leave, then goes to NORMA.

He sits near HER on the sofa, leans forward and kisses HER.)

JOE

Happy New Year.

(SHE reaches up and wraps her bandaged arms around his neck.)

NORMA

Happy New Year, darling.

(THEY kiss; NORMA pulls JOE down onto the sofa. Through this...)

SLOW FADE TO BLACK

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