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Home >> West Side Story soundtrack >> Gee, Officer Krupke!
Album: West Side Story

Gee, Officer Krupke!

Another Alley - l0:00 p.m.

KRUPKE (whistle): Hey, you!

A-RAB: Who me?

KRUPKE: Yeah, you!

(A-rab and Baby John stop surprised.)
A-RAB: Why it is Officer Krupke, Baby John-

BABYJOHN (quaking): Top of the evening, Officer Krupke.

KRUPKE: I'll crack the top of your skulls if you
punks don't stop when I whistle, (exits; other Jets

SNOWBOY: Ya see, cops believe everything they
read in the paper.

ACTION: To them we ain't human. We're cruddy
juvenile delinquents. So that's what we give 'em.

SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke): Hey, you!

ACTION: Me, Officer Krupke?

SNOWBOY: Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason
for not dragging ya down the station house, ya punk!

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringing up-ke
That get us out of hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks,
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!

Gee. Officer Krupke, we're very upset;
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents,
We're misunderstood,
Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good,
There's an tapped good,
Like inside, the worst of us is good.

SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke):
That's a touchin' good story!

ACTION: Lemme tell you to the world!

SNOWBOY ("Krupke"):
Just tell it to the judge!

ACTION(to "Judge"):
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My parents treat me rough,
With all the marijuana,
They won't give me a puff.
They didn't wanna have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!

DIESEL ("Judge"):
Officer Krupke, you're really a square;
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an
analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed. we're disturbed,
We're the most disturbed,
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.

DIESEL ("Judge"):
In the opinion of this court, this child is
depraved on account
he ain't had a normal home.

ACTION: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

DIESEL ("Judge"): So take him to a headshrinker.

ACTION (to "Psychiatrist"):
My father is a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea,
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress,
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

A-RAB ("psychiatrist"):
Officer Krupke, you're really a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
"Und" sociogic'ly he's sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick sick sick,
Like we're sociologically sick!

A-RAB ("psychiatrist"):
In my opinion this child don't need to have
his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!

ACTION: Hey, I got a social disease!

A-RAB ("psychiatrist"):
So take him to a social worker!

ACTION (to "Social Worker"):
Dear kindly social worker.
They say go earn a buck,
Like be a soda jerker,
Which means like be a schmuck.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-work,
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk!

BABY JONN (imitating female social worker):
Officer Krupke, you've done it again.
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, he's no good!

I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good,
We're no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!

DIESEL ("Judge"):
The trouble is he's crazy!

A-RAB ("Psychiatrist"):
The trouble is he drinks!

BABY JOHN ("Social Worker"):
The trouble is he's lazy!

DIESEL ("Judge"):
The trouble is he stinks!

A-RAB ("Psychiatrist"):
The trouble is he's growing!

BABY JOHN ("Social Worker"):
The trouble is he's grown!

Krupke. we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease.
Gee, Officer Krupke,
What are we to do!
Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you!

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